I wish it were like it is in the movies. A simple emotion acted upon by two people who realise that life is much better growing old with someone you love. But its not. We've developed it into an intangible emotion which is in its pre-extinction.
I should know, I've been in my fair share of relationships, shared many promises and cuddles and just as I start engraving the idea of forever, it fades as curiously as it blossoms. And yet again, I learn the lesson even I'm not sure I know to learn.
Wouldn't it be nice to have it? The real deal? Old love herself. She's a very rare phenomenon that I admire in gasps as she screams across me so rarely. Couples who have understood the sacrifice of love and dare I say the simplicity. Their relationships seem to be carried by an emotion that many people in this age have forgotten.
I look back - in my memories and experiences, my observations and perceptions - at the number of couples that have spent more than 10 years together and it seems when we got rid of wars and the fear of dying at any moment, we lost a reason to love truly in a deeper level. Now, embedded into our kids are safe sex and status-quo. Quickies, all the temporary pleasures of friends with benefits and booty calls.
What I would give to find that little joy, simple joy of a partner who I can wake up next to for decades.
I Guess the one thing that I have learnt from all the falling and failing is that it is never guaranteed. Its like an idea, it floats, it lands and the only thing you can do is try. Afterwards you find a lesson of how not to do things, what to look out for and most importantly what mistakes to never make again. Then you take it as it is, happiness, sadness, pain, guilt, frustration, whatever it may be. And for a moment you feel it, indulge in it, take it all in like a breath of morning air and again, wait. You may never know, maybe next time you'll get it right and forever can become, I'm hoping, a very long slow ride.
