Dying life...

So lately i have been having a feeling like my end is near, like my world is slowly closing in and that my "purpose" as it maybe believed as the reason for human existence is served. I don't know if that would make a difference if still i am not 100% aware what the purpose is. It could be in anyway religiously i could look at it.  I am not suicidal, don't get it wrong, and neither am i aware of how i would die but it just feels like i am reaching close to my expiry date.  Maybe its a reminder of how fragile life really is or maybe its intuition or a sixth sense of some sort. I could never explain it .

Lately i wonder about death in itself and incredibly there is an unwritten fear of death and anything that may seem dark that seemingly accompanies it. Its the questions we don't like to ask that keep us floating in uncertainty and hearsay, uneven belief and cold blunt fear of what is unknown. There are so many theories...heaven, hell, 72 virgins, reincarnation, silence. Its quite a fascinating subject. I heard a quote one time that reoccurred to me.

"Death created time to grow the things it will kill." 

That really dissected in my brain today when the sun rose a few minutes later than it would in this season. Time became a factor i meditated on tied up with the aspect of death. Made me wonder,

Is life really life or are we in actual fact killed to live?

Stick with me a second here...let me perhaps try to untangle my thoughts.

So there is of course the believe of human existence as we are on earth. We all wake up brush our teeth and follow the paths of our lives wondering what exactly we are here on the earth for. We have gotten used to the capitalist world were money and sex are the main reasons of life and the proof of meaningful existence of whatever time we have spent on this earth. Perhaps back in the day people were slightly deeper in the sense that the pursuit of happiness was more than worldly possessions but the extremity of the joy and happiness one possessed not necessarily what one owned.

That said, If what makes the body actually live is the soul, that would make the body a vehicle which is driven by the soul and maybe dumped (death) at anytime. Therefore the soul may live (exist) on without a body (heaven/hell/72 virgins) or maybe may disappear to thin air? (Silence). Perhaps the soul does exist before it enters a body when it is born and exits when the body dies to "after-life" does that makes the soul immortal?

If this is the case then can i say we are born into the world to die? and if this is so, does that makes the act of being born be considered as dying?

If the souls are everlasting then when we are born we are actually dying and that means living life then becomes nothing but an experience of dying. And on the extreme that makes the act of dying the moment we gain life. Why? Why be born to die?

Who knows? Perhaps to prune the soul to maturity? To generate humanity? To be?

Perhaps when i do die live at the end of this human existence, my soul will find out the fundamental essence of a dying life.