Year-End Speech

Its end of year, we have reached another December. Yet again the time to start stating our resolutions, updating our wishlists and feeling proud of our our achievements thus far. I sit worrying about my year end post. What to say and how it is I should say it.

  To most, my words are nothing but rants of life from another one of the billion souls that exist on this planet. Mere doodles. To me, they are silence. Perhaps I use words that have been used entirely to perfection that they have become meaningless.  As the case may be, I have used words so ancient they translate to silence.

It is probably what is best. For a long time I have thought for a person who has been through what I have, when given a chance should be able to translate the emotions into a text that most will read and somehow my suffering and anguish would not have been in vain. It only made sense that an education to the masses of one existence would awaken a humanity that we are on the brink of losing.

I have tried, believe you me. Endless drafts sit in all devices that I use, every journal I have owned and subsequently burned. I have been searching for that moment. The beginning of self realisation. How do I start my story? Does it go back to the point I was consciously aware of the stone that sat on the bottommost of my stomach? Does it start with my unconscious memories of existing instead of living?

Imaginably there is no start. It just begins. Begins with the first memory. Life is after all not a collection of years but a collection of memories.

I have no words for a beginning, my endless flirtings with blank canvases for a start have been unsuccessful. I have barely achieved second base let alone foreplay with an introduction. That is, for all one knows, the answer. The unwritten clue.

For the new year to start, A year would have to end but perchance there is no need for a start instead, for a moment to collect with all the other moments of existence. Maybe now I can stop looking to the skies for a sign of the start  of the new year we all hope will be ''the year" for love, joys, happiness, the all out dream. The signs are and have been existing as we do-with each breathe we take and each moment we make.

So instead of the normal I'll be bold and live differently in this moment. Whomever you are, wherever you are and whatever you do…

Happy holidays and happy moments!!