Flying Termites – Alates

LOVE IS JUST THAT…an unpredictable piece of emotion that makes us all insane. Its completly crazy that today when i stand under the African sun and i wonder about my world when i have lost her that has been that – my world. I was like the alate, a flying termite ..a practice queen which spends its childhood practising to be that – a queen. I knew exactly what i want, and not sure at all weather i will find it or more importantly if it exists. Regardless of this very vage reality, i buzz around the anthill until the rain has fallen and the sun has comeout. Attracted to the light, i fly to it in search of a mate, my forever to start a colony with. Alates find each other and that becomes their forever. They shed their wings, mate and live happily watching their offspring grow and subsequently ventue out into the world too. If only it were that simple…instead its a far complex case… a case many claim to know and more fear. If only love had a page in wiki-how *Opens new tab and checks – LOL there is a how to love page* – if only it were as simple as that page…instead its a far complex case.

by JOAN on DECEMBER 11, 2013 in UNCATEGORIZED

Love is not the issue. When we have it its crazy-amazing-exhilirating-mind blowing-TakeMeLord kinda flying feeling. When love is present its just LOVE-ly. The problem arises when love is gone. When we wake up in the morning and they are not beside us anymore. We stop getting the calls and stop ourselves from calling them all the time. When we look up in the sky and all we see are the wings we’d shed after we flew out to find our mate, slowly floating down. It sounds sad, a cruel reality of love but that is what makes it worth while. After all, we are jewels, we are heated and molded and taught to face the stresses inflicted on us not to kill us, but to make us priceless and ready and fitting for the one who is meant for us.

It may be too hot to handle when you lose someone, but time heals, we cool down and we come out a better person – well most of us anyway 

So why write here? A blog i havent touched in months? maybe years? Well this is the last time i felt ‘me’. 2013 has been a challnging year for this earth dragon and usually when things are tough out in the world, we go home. I needed to get back to what i know which is to express in words the thoughts of my singing feet.

So here i am an Alate stripped of its wings and found its way home.

the raindance?

by JOAN on FEBRUARY 13, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

- mvura naya naya, tidye m’punga-

i danced on the dusty African ground, my shrieking voice cascading into the heavens joining my best friend Karen and the 5 other boys and girls with us. It could easily be called the rain dance, or a cry for help and mercy from the droughts we faced each year. Dust bursted from under my feet everytime my feet touched the ground in this rhythmatic skip

-rain fall fall, so we eat rice-

maybe there are such things as rain dances. it all started with one drop from the sky on a dry, thirsty, water seeking African soil, just at the cross over from the burning summer to the rainy season. Another drop landing on my forehead confirming that the rains were indeed about to gush out from the skies. Instantly we’d start the chant about-well- rice. i mean, shouldn’t the rain chant be about – i don’t know- blessings? Hell no! This is Africa- its all about the food:)

-mvura naya naya, tidye m’punga-

The skipping circle goes faster, the yelling louder and the raindrops start falling. A shout of exhilaration drown the noise of the raindrops attack on the African soil. We did it! Or not. Our celebrations stop as bodies scatter as we are all summoned to our respective homes. Being only 8, i realised i’d cursed myself to a week of indoor boredom. i’d slap my barefeet around the house seeking salvation. i picked up the phone.

“hi Karen, is there a song you know to stop the rain?”

random thoughts – artistic rebellion

by JOAN on FEBRUARY 6, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

artists are known mainly for rebellion
and the vast expression
through abstract means
poetry
dance
music such as

unlike many
i didn’t forcefully break out
the box didn’t crumble in such
obvious ways
instead i had to crumble in the box of limitations
expectence
for the sake of cutting through the shell letting my creative juices fall

followed the rules rebelling only through art
and expression
endless journals thoughts
words
rambling ideas images scribbled

eventually my heart broke then welded together
finishing the exclusive sculptor now art stuck within the body of mine
my mind rumbles with thoughts, words
and things,
images imprinted in my eyelids
with every dream i let out a scream that eventually regardless how long it takes
will finaly cause that quake
of echoing rebellion and my heart will let go
in the artistic fashion of undeniable creativity
from the artistic rebellion

makes sense? not even a bit.

in plain terms: “an artist’s job is not to create but to discover”

wonderful awesomeness…or not

by JOAN on FEBRUARY 6, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

When you want to go to a function that people get down on the dance floor and eat meat like a pride of lions…this is the place. I almost forgot how incredible it is to be around loud meat loving people whom i know. It was my uncle’s birthday, he turned a sexy 69 (year if you’re dyke hopefully you’re fast enough to get that! lol) He is the eldest of 11 children in my father’s family! Yes! My grandma Johannah was a very strong woman!

He managed to get my cousins and aunts and uncles i hadn’t seen in a long time. It was absolutely great catching up, and even greater standing behind my camera, privileged to be capturing and documenting moments in this incredibly unpredictable life of mine. When my kids turn 13, they are in trouble, there will be lots of history lessons and of course appreciation of culture and tradition. I love my culture and as much there are somethings i dislike, its a beautiful world:)

The party kicked of in full swing with lots of school boy/college boy stories of my uncle. His pursuit of his now wife  and education. Long short they called him a wonderful man. I snapped at the family most of the time, trying to get as many memories recorded in my camera – it had been a while since we had the time.  I was called  by my sisters mother in law, she bragged to her friend a medical doctor sitting next to her of my amazing personality and excellent manners!  what can i say? my awesomeness is undeniable:P

mother inlaw:  she is so wonderful, this girl

doctor friend: she is! she looks very responsible

she smiling up at me as i stand between the women, the mother in law squeezing my hand to death.

mother-inlaw:  A good woman like this deserves happiness

doctor friends: yes, you know what that means eh?

The two women wore their smirks.My sister’s mother in law looks up at me   pleased of the unspoken strategy they had suddenly come up with. I searched both their faces, one after the other. The both grinned

“We are going to find you a good MAN!!”

sleepless nights 101

by JOAN on JANUARY 15, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

at the rate i’m going, i could safely say i’m more than capable to teach on insomnia. i spend most of my nights wondering what i’m still doing up late. its crazy how restless i could really be when i had a tiring day.

I hoover about the house at night, watching the shadows, listening to the differents sounds of the African night. i been trying to hear an owl close by. maybe it would be White Knight, the owl we discovered and named.

My thoughts rush through my head with super speed, its exhausting trying to keep track of them. when i don’t keep track of them, they get louder and i have to constantly suppress the urge to shout back at them!

they get almost as annoying as sitting to a woman in the cup who is three times my size but yet she manages to sit partially on my hip and sit close enough to drain air from my lungs. as if thats not enough, every movement is forcing her elbow into my bone. she’s got a cute baby-regardless of that, she still gave me the worst squeeze.

i don’t remember any other time i’ve ever approved the bus driver to drive above the speed limit!

my thoughts are like that woman at the moment, picking into my brain, probably partially my sanity. i close my eyes and see the empty dark space. its such a drag, later today, its going to be a mission to just keep my eyes open, worse of my mind quiet enough to allow me to think of the general household day to day duties and activities. thank goodness for you all you get to learn from me.

so i guess the Q is what do you do when you have insomnia??

A. go pee!

blue smoke

by JOAN on JANUARY 11, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

i hate it when i feel its time to post up something new and yet there is absolutely nothing going on in my head. Hmmmm, let me rephrase that. I hate it when i try to write something but the only stuff in my head are actually stuff that makes sense. I dont like making sense sometimes, it gets too deep. Who wants to have a serious life in the so-called last 11 months of human survival, supposedly the world does end in a few months time.

Okay so how about an update on what i’m doing in my life at the moment in the beginning of this revolutionary year – if the 2012 end-of-the-world stuff pulls through. Generally i’d have said ” if the 2012 end-of-the-world shit pulls off”, but i’m keeping my tongue clean in case it actually happens and i have to meet almost at the end of the year, the Maker, bigger than all of us, floating in the heavens, kinda blue smokish complexion. I know, but work with me here i’m building an image. He would look down at the group, but seemingly strait at me and say, “Who the fuck said the 2012 stuff is shit!?”

So just to be on the safe side.

Okay, where was i? oh yes – the update. I’ve taken up interest in war movies. I am not sure what exactly about people in camouflage running away and shooting  little yellow sparks at each other with semi-electric weapons. Don’t judge me. Maybe thats why I’ve been having really loud thoughts lately?? I find that most True-life dramas  are war based or a girl that gets kidnapped and others – unsung heroes. But with war movies I fail to figure out though why and how these wars start. Its incredibly fascinating how most of the men walk  in their platoons to fight for a war they barely understand. Then what the hell you fighting for?

How will all those men do in December – if the 2012 end-of-the-world stuff pulls off of course, and they see the blue smoke? by blue smoke i mean the maker’s complexion of him floating the air looking down at us. Don’t you think its kinda silly of me to imagine the Maker blue? I mean “He made us in his own image”, the Bible says. So what human being is blue – well except for the Smurfs and these are the exception. They are all a pretty sweet bundle don’t you think??

Anyway, my point is i don’t want to call him any “human color” in case. But you never know, we may all be shocked when the world does end – if the 2012 end-of-the-world stuff pulls through, and we see the blue smoke floating through the skies. And by blue smoke i mean the maker’s complexion…

“Who the fukk said i was blue!!??”

“…errrmm.”

Resolutions

by JOAN on JANUARY 6, 2012 in UNCATEGORIZED

at this time of the year, soon after the new year’s day craziness people sit down with the previous year at hand and look to make resolutions for the coming year. i on the other hand haven’t done either. i spoke to a young woman today, who profoundly said she doesn’t make resolutions but she does have a goal to live a better life this year than last year.

for me i live life with one goal-regardless of the old year or the new year- and that is to Live. life is much fun when it unfolds unexpectedly.

i could be met by an unexpected cliché of meeting someone when they’re about to leave from close to where you are and won’t see them in a long time. my share of this one was today, met a sweet little 4year old and also said goodbye.

but that wasn’t all for one day, i found courage to meet a stranger and look into his eyes with my camera and capture his story. an unexpected truth of life and living. when he sits on the side of the street day after day expecting nothing but just another chance to breathe life the next day. and on the other side of the coin, i met a hungry woman and her children who have just stopped expecting anything.

but when life decides to treat you, you will unexpectedly sneeze and fart at the same time in a bus full of people before the engine starts, just so no one will miss the moment! when that happens, gawd dayem embarrassing as is, look ahead and don’t blink and hope to God that no one laughs!

all this was just today. i wonder what tomorrow holds!